Trust, Presence, Listening.....

This entery was prompted by the Daily Groove I found in my email In box from Scott Noelle, which you will find at the bottom. :)

Its been an intense week for my family. Wes has his work dramas, I've been going through some rather intense internal changes and Kathrynn has been going through her own intensities. I don't know if its food allergies (i've just learned that something she's been eating daily contains a high amount of gluten- which she responds to if she gets too much off), or if its just her own internal shifts....
It all is almost TOOOOO much for me!!!!!!

Luckily i have wonderful support systems in my life- wonderful friends and some invaluable yahoo groups keep me targeted on what is important in my life and for my own growth.

There are three things that i've been really focusing on....

Trust, Presence, Listening.....
They are all interlinked and work together- ie, I have a hard time listening when i am not present. :)


Trust- I trust that it is all perfect, as it is playing out. It may not "seem" perfect, if i have my controling glasses on. But if i have my "expansive" glasses on I see that there is way more then meets the eye, and everything has its purpose. :) As Byron Katie would say, Loving what IS.

Presence- To be still enough, unconditionally watching and Being. This stillness allows me to just BE. Sometimes that means feeling love and joy, and sometimes it means feeling agitaion or frustration. But if i am present, then i can feel things things w/o reaction. I can choose not to attach a reaction to that emotion or to the "story" that I have in my mind. Being Present allows me to love and connect with K more then anything. :)

Listening- Listening to what is triggering me... to what "story" i am playing out in my mind.... and then seperating from that story. After all, it is *just* a story. Questioning those stories that lead to yuchy feelings leads me to Freedom.
Lately one of the stories that i've been questioning is that I am responsible for my families happiness and health. Another story that i'm deconstructing is that happiness and health are interdependent. I am trying to be Present enough to Listen to when these stories pop up, and then Trust enough in my process.

I love this unschooling life, as it motivates me to keep pulling at the layers and layers and layers.... Joy and Freedom are always the end result. :)
=================================================================


THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Leading-edge Parenting Requires Faith ::

Parenting on the leading edge -- nonviolently,
unconditionally, creatively -- is an act of faith.

There's no guarantee that it will "work," and
there's no shortage of naysayers who are quick
to tell you it will NOT work.

Blind faith is believing what others tell you, but
*authentic faith* is trusting your Inner Guidance,
a.k.a. intuition, inspiration, instincts, or gut
feelings.

For this style of parenting to work, you have to
(a) stay checked in with your Guidance, (b) follow
it, and (c) accept that it takes *time* for inner
changes to be reflected in outer conditions
(including children's behavior).

Fortunately, you don't have to wait for those
outer changes. You can practice the Art of
Unconditionality and enjoy parenting now!

http://dailygroove.net/faith


Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2009 by Scott Noelle

Not in a rush in our own mind.....

My friend text'd me to tell me about this great quote she found while reading a magazine...
"If we are not in a rush with our own mind, we have the patience to let things unfold...."

I wish I could give credit to whomever authored this sentence, but it so captures my life sometimes.....

Mothering a child who feels BIG.... being a woman who is highly sensitive her self, and tends to feel "bigness" as well..... it is important for me to be able to be Still in times of "duress."

My mother in law left monday after being here for a week. Kathrynn always has a hard time transitioning after visits (or sometimes during visits) to places or when people visit here...... When her known energetic environment shifts, as occurs when we visit family or they visit us, she has to transition back to homeostasis once the visitors are gone (or sometimes even while we are still w/ family if the visit is long enough). This process is all unspoken, and so even more difficult to understand.

When I follow the road map of her behaviors, I am able to see the chaos and the "out of sorts" feelings she is experiencing. During these times she has "melt downs" and her ability to be flexible to the ebbs and flows of life diminsh greatly. It is them my job to "not rush in my own mind", but instead to be Centered and Still and Present for her.... to allow her to fully process whatever she is experiencing, and be there for her when she comes out on the other side. When i try to resist this process, it goes horribly.... Both of us wind up in tears. When i wait it out, things unfold almost Magically..... The end of the world can seem be near, but then with the next breath she is somewhere else energetically and has moved to a new place of Being.

This has been our last couple days. The world crashing down on us, Connecting, Listening, Loving, Waiting......transitioning into being secure in the world and ready to leap tall buildings with a single bound.... Rinse. Repeat. Breath. Reminding myself that All *is* Well.

Each time the world seems to be crumbling down around us- each time those emotions are *so* BIG!!!- I still often feel a twinge of "Oh No!" Then i breath, and remember the process. That it *will* be ok. That is is ok *now*. That with patience, things will unfold. Keeping my mind from feeling the anxiety and worry and desperation that my daughter is feeling is crucial. Those are not *my* feelings.... those are HERS. And I can not help her by mimicing them in myself.

Keeping my mind Still, not in a rush to find solutions or to make the world "perfect" for her, allows that unfolding to occur in a peaceful and magical way. Even if i have a hard time feeling the peace and magic while it is happening, I always look back on it and See it clearly, when I have Choosen to be Patient. What is more exciting for me is that now, after all these years, even while its happening , i think i *finally* can get a glimpse of that peace and magic *while* the chaos still ensues. I have started to Believe in the beauty of Presence and Patience.

With each episode I am left both exhausted and exhilerated..... That Bigness is a lot for me to process. But coming out on the other side is AMAZING. This parenting stuff..... its amazing. :)