Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Gratitude Wednesday, week 2

Gratitude Wednesday!

1- I just got home from the ER- one of my best friends in the world had a DVT and asked me to come sit with her while she was waiting to be discharged. The body is a weird thing, and i am full of gratitude that my friend caught the clot early and is going to be fine. :)

2- I got home from a FABULOUS vacation a couple days ago, and I am still basking in gratitude for this trip..... There are so many layers of gratitude involved.... In short, I am grateful that I made it happen for myself. I manifested an amazing trip, with countless amazing experiences.

3- How can i not mention my gratitude for my wonderful husband and amazing daughter? Every day they motivate me to become a better person.

4- I am grateful for the contrasts that exist in my life.... The contrasting moments of "difficulty" and other such shadow type words illuminate and amplify the Joy that permeates....

5- I am grateful for our two little guinea pigs. They are sweet companions for our family. :)


Saturday, October 24, 2009

Breath. Feel. Awareness...... All is well....

Yesterday I had an interesting interaction with a man about unschooling. I was at an open market, just off the square down town Sante Fe. I was wearing a shirt that said "I am blogging this." I man started to engage me in conversation, based on my tshirt. The man was probably in his early 40s- good looking, hair shoulder length, with some grey streaking his otherwise dark hair. He asked me, "Are you really blogging right now?" And that is how we began to converse. He asked me a serious of question, leading up to "What do you blog about." I told him that i blog about my family, and especially my 6 year old daughter. He was curious what was so interesting about our lives that made me want to blog. (Funny question, huh?!?!?) I asked him if he'd ever heard of unschooling.

Now, to pause this for a second, I rarely engage in strangers about our educational choices, and when i do, i rarely use the word unschooling, even though that is what we're doing, if you have to label it. Somehow i choose to use the word unschooling with him, rather then my usual word choice of homeschooling.

Anyway! So he claimed to be unfamiliar, so i told him it was a form of homeschooling. He asked me some more questions, I answered. I felt it to be a lovely transaction thus far, and I was feeling the love of my little girl in my heart so vibrantly, I was feeling the love of our lives so passionately, and as always I was in full appreciation for this vibrant life that i live.


He told me that he knew someone who raised their kids like that, and what a DIS-SERVICE it was to the kids..... <> I certainly was not expecting this, and yet there it was, and so the conversation continued. I explained that I personally could not remember anything much beyond multiplication, even though I have been schooled to the graduate school level. Sure, it woul come back to me, should i need to review it. Ie, I could re-learn it if ever need be. I explained that there are a lot of subjects taught that one never uses, "just in case." I asked him if he wanted to learn racquetball, what would he do. He said he'd learn it. Exactly! I said. When a person wants to learn something, they learn about it! No need to make someone learn how to play raquetball, JUST IN CASE they might, by chance, want play it down the road sometime..... He seemed to follow me, but had that doubters look still on his face. That look that he didn't buy it..... My friends, who had been elsewhere, returned to me at that moment, and it was time to leave. I said to this man, "I love my life. And my child loves her life. Have a great day." And off I walked smiling.

I was full of emotion at that point. I was filled with a level of exuberance and passion for my life and the choices we've made. The passion could have been fueled into more gratitude for my life.
Instead I felt anger towards that man. I was angry that he felt the right to turn a friendly conversation into a critique of my parenting. "Who was this man, to question MY parenting!!!!"
Those kind of angry thoughts filled my head. I couldn't shake it....

When I had a chance to relax and feel what was going on, a number of things came to me. Ala Byron Katie, I realized that I too sometimes offer my opinion when it is not asked for. That I too sometimes lack a level of openness to hear new ideas. That I too sometimes lack that trust that *it is all good*. That I too sometimes am not expanded and become limited in my thoughts. This led me to have compassion for this man, for myself, and i started to do some Ho'oponopono: I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I saw myself in him, and him back in me, and it lead me to heal those parts of me that needed healing. That part of me that sometimes desperately wants to be understood and accepted, because when I was growing up I often was *not* understood or accepted for who I was.

Over the next few hours I continued to go inward and feel, and I eventually felt hands, as if they were my mothers, or the hands of the Universe, or an adult me. Those hands were stroking though my hair, as a young girl. Those hands were caressing me and loving me. They were UNCONDITIONALLY loving and accepting me, every part of me. :)

I *am* unconditionally loved and accepted by the Universe, always. The key is staying tapped into that, and not in my fears, past, or judgments that separate me from that authenticity of Being.

I am full of appreciation for that man, and for my Self. All *is* well. <3

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Gratitude Wednesday!

Clint Stonebraker ( gave me the idea to do this....
write a weekly gratitude post on my blog leading up to Thanksgiving.

I have often thought about this idea- picking a day each week and dedicating it to gratitude. So I am full of appreciation that I came across Clint's blog.....

Today is the day before my big Sante Fe trip. One of my best friends is celebrating her 40th bday in Sante Fe. This was no spontaneous trip- shortly after becoming friends with Kt she told me of this plan... that she was going to Sante Fe for her 40th! Well, years later, and we're going! I can't wait!!! This is the first vacation I've had since Kathrynn was born- maybe the first vacation since our honeymoon, now that I think about it. So, wow!!!

So on this night, before my departure, I have some serious gratitude:

1- I am grateful for my friend Kt. I know we're going to have an amazing trip. :)
2- I am grateful for my husband, who works SO hard (and is working right now actually, finishing up a project) so that all the members of his family can do fun things. I am also so very grateful for how wonderful a father he is- I know that he and Kathrynn will have a fabulous time while I'm gone.
3-I am grateful for my wonderful 6 (nearly 7!!) year old daughter Kathrynn. She is one of the brightest lights of my life, and every day I get to be with her is an amazing gift.
4- I am grateful for my parents. They are very caring and supportive of my family, and are always doing unexpected things for our family. Today Kathrynn got a big package full of fun things from them, and then Kathrynn had a nice long conversation with my mom afterward. It was very heart warming. :)
5- I am grateful for for a life which challenges me, honors me and nourishes me. <3

Off to sleep I go, with gratitude in my heart, and mind. :)

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Dear Trust- we've come a long way baby, you and me :)

One thing that I've been thinking about lately due to some recent conversations is how much I really love living our days together in the way that we do. I have recently been reminded of how much fear people have in regards to homeschooling, and I feel immense gratitude and appreciation that I was exposed to the ideas of homeschooling and unschooling when Kathrynn was less then a year old.

At that time I was learning how to Trust my baby- trust that it was ok to follow her nursing needs, her sleeping needs, her exploring and sleeping needs. I was learning to tune out what others thought was best, and what others expected me to do, and instead listen to my child and listen to my self. I continued to learn to unravel my own issues/conditioning/fears so that I could partner with her. This kept on continuing- my Trust building and building and building. It didn't happen magically for me. It happened through a lot of internal work, and through finding supportive networks that helped me challenge those old fears so that I could continue to build that Trust with my child and family.

I now realize that most people who are AP (attachment parents) have a certain amount of Trust with their babies, but then as they age, and become X year old, they slowly loose the trust that they had in/ with their child..... This is so sad for me to hear, because our children never loose that need to have our trust.

I am remarkably grateful and perhaps even lucky that I have a level of trust that enables me to be with my child on her path. This path has brought me an immense amount of inner growth, and an extreme amount of external joy.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Pizza, tic tac toe, football and sculptures, and a few seconds of pontificating on how much i love our life :)

The happenings around here lately......... :)

We went up to Indy last weekend for our 3rd annual Fisher's Ren Faire!
It was one of the coldest days of the year, and was the coldest Fisher's Ren Faire by far (the first year we went it was 40 degrees hotter, a whopping 96 degrees!!!).
I will hopefully be posting some pix from that soon, but in the mean time will post some pix of what we did after the Ren Faire, and subsequent days...

Now.....onto PIZZA!!!!! We went to Unos pizza after the Ren Faire up in Indy and boy did it ROCK!!!!
They had a gluten free crust, and made her a pizza to order. Believe it or not, this was Kathrynn's FIRST PIZZA!!! She's had bites and the occasional piece here and there, but this was the first time we'd been to a place that made gluten free pizzas that she could also order without cheese.
She was soooooo excited by this experience, and Wes and I were equally as excited to be able to be facilitating this experience for her!!! It really felt great to be giving this experience to her. :)

By the end of it, she'd eaten all but a few pieces, and ate another piece on the way home. :)

Tic Tac Toe joy........ One day Kathrynn and I played some tic tac toe while waiting for some food. She made me laugh when she went from making these rather large grids to this VERY tiny grid. I had to take some pix of it bc it was so funny to me! :)

One thing Wes and Kathrynn have in common these days is there love for the Chicago Bears. One day while eating bruch at The Farm for our usual Sunday Brunch, Wes was able to bring up the game on his iphone and BOOM! They had their game on. :)
(if you look closely, you can see his iphone propped up toward the center of the table :P )

They wound up winning that game, so whatever that's worth! LOL :)

The other day Kathrynn came up with the idea for us to make sculptures. We worked on them for awhile and this is what we came up with:
I am feeling rather emotional as I post these pictures, feeling the extreme joy and love I feel for my daughter and my husband. I am full of appreciation for the wonderful moments and creations we share each and every day. Its amazing how something as simple as a sculpture can lead me to feel a sense of awe for how creative and expansive our days can be, without even "trying," and instead by just following our joys of the moment.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Random moments of Joy :)

Animal fun! :)

Puppet show fun :)

Some fun at Wonderlab :)

Wes' hands were on the top lol!
An animal show w/ some rescued animals. :)

Tea party time!

A random gymnastics jump during open gym!

Sewing class, where they made a backpack!

Learning some songs on her xylophone/piano!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

The Scotish festival, Skye's bday party, wonderlab, and some sewing and:)

Wow! We've been busy!!!!!

The Scottish Festival in Columbus was lots of fun..... Kathrynn went as a pirate. :)

She had so much fun dancing the Scotish dances.

We love the bagpipes!
The highland games were so much fun to watch!

The woman in the above clip was AMAZING!
Oh how Kathrynn loved this hat/wig, lol!

Skye's 5th bday party!!!

Pinata..... Cake!!!!!

Presents and swimming!

Wonderlab!!!!! Oh, how we love Wonderlab :)

Sewing Joy! Kathrynn has been practicing with her sewing skills, doing mazes, dot to dots, creations of her own.... even sewing on random pieces of paper she finds, including the below receipt, lol!