I've mentioned before that for me, Joy is not just about being happy.... it is about Feeling whatever you are feeling in that moment, and being authentic with that feeling. I find that young kids can often demonstrate that authenticity, and for the most part I'm finding that Kathrynn has been able to maintain that authenticity of being.
Earlier today she was so angry about certain things not going a certain way.... so passionate in her feelings, is she....
It used to be that her authenticity was too overwhelming for me.... it left *me* feeling uncomfortable. It led to many struggles between the two of us. As I began to work through my own issues, I learned how to be a witness in such situations, rather then a victim. Today, I was able to be a witness for her- just Being there for her, and connecting with her as she needed. When she was done, she jumped out of my lap, and was onto something new.
Today I was witness to the "unhappy" kind of authenticity, AND so much of the other kind too.
Our day ended with her deciding to put on an "act" for people who were walking and driving by our house. She made a couple signs and was ready to go!
We put the signs on either side of our property. She was sure people could see them when they were driving or walking by, and would lead to her having more "customers." She was so filled with excitement when cars were headed our way. It was interesting to watch the people in their cars- most of them were smiling, taking in the joy of this child doing acrobatics on her front lawn!
Tonight, when I reflect back on our day, I am left having such appreciation that i can (usually) offer her unconditional love and support, and and hold the space for her so that she can feel whatever it is that she is feeling *freely* as she moves through her process.
For me, holding the space, and being a witness is all about being in the Now. There are no past stories of victim-hood, or worries of the future. All that exists is that moment, in its perfect unfolding. This perspective has brought such amazing beauty to my life. I am able to look into her eyes and just move into a timeless space where only Love lives. It makes everything so much more amazing to me. The mundane becomes fragrant with the essence of what is life.
It is in the moments of her authentic joy that my heart enlarges- no matter if that joy is one of happiness or not........ and my True Being radiates.