Monday, July 26, 2010

"I am that Mom, the one who . . . "

Inspired by Ronnie (who was inspired by Flo) **giggle giggle**........

I've been thinking about this for quite some time, because the reactions of other parents to my intense child often intrigue, surprise, and flat out entertain me. In particular, the reactions of other mothers (and occasionally fathers) who watch as my child is free to express herself any way she chooses in any particular moment, assuming that no one is getting physically hurt/feeling unsafe. :P

I am that Mom, the one who stands with her feet rooted to the ground- often silent, sometimes quiet, (occasionally not) - while her daughter comes at her with fists flailing, legs kicking, words blaring and temper flying.

I am that Mom, who seems to ignore the other adult in the room, who is telling her kid that "[insert various behavior/emotion] is not a nice way to treat your mom."

I am that Mom, who takes a deep breath and fills herself with presence, while her child expresses her various emotion in the best way that she knows how, in that exact moment.

I am that Mom, who knows that her kids intense emotions will not be there for long, and knows that if she can maintain presence, the behavior will shift, ebb and flow, quite quickly. And that LATER, they can talk about it.

I am that Mom, who, after all is said and done, is often caught off guard by how FAST those emotions can come, and go.

I am that mom, who is filled with gratitude and appreciation when she remembers to remain calm on the outside, and sometimes on the inside too, when such things occur.

And

I am that mom, who remembers that there will certainly be a next time when she can do 'better', when her presence does falter, and her own emotions get the best of her. :)

9 comments:

  1. This really resonates with me. Your daughter is so blessed to have you as her fierce advocate and safe place. :)

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  2. "if she can maintain presence, the behavior will shift, ebb and flow, quite quickly." Love this. :)

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  3. yay for THAT mom and standing still and firm and full of love

    blessings,
    deb

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  4. Well written, mama. I have a child like that, and another, who seems even more intense, coming up. Your child is lucky to have you and I'm saving your post to help me regroup. It really is very well written.

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  5. It sure is hard sometimes when the judgmental adults around you are giving the shake of the head or rolling of the eyes. No they don't go in time out. No I won't yell at them. It is hard to be different but very rewarding!

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  6. Thanks to everyone for the lovely comments. :)

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  7. I'm a mama of a seven year old who has a hard time with her emotions too. I'm following you, knowing that I'm not alone in caring for a child who is learning about her emotions could be helpful.

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  8. Seven is definitely a change from the calm easygoing Karl I'm used to ... and it's interesting to note that it's something different for him not my parenting which hasn't reverted to convention. I mean really! It may be that he is just now feeling free enough to say what he really thinks. I like knowing what's up for him. It's good to know him more than just the sweet new-to-the-world cocoony baby and toddler and very young child. I wonder what kind of guy he will turn out to be? Let's see...

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