Monday, February 22, 2010


I was going to name this posting "Joyful Expectations....." but i did not want people to think this was about expecting joy...... although i do think that joy is my "goal" as i live this life. :)
(fwiw, i think people often get the wrong idea of what i mean by Joy. :P I do NOT mean the happy cheerleader visual you might get. I DO mean being authentic and in presence.... with whatever I am experiencing....)

I came across a great article called "The Trap of Expectations"
The Trap of Expectations

It really got me thinking about why we set expectations for ourselves and our children. I am sure that for some it is easier to set expectations for their children then deal with the reasons why they are needing to have those expectations in the first place.

IME whenever we want to control another person, and expectations certainly seem to be tied to control, it is because of our own issues. WE are wanting quiet. WE are wanting "order." WE are wanting our children to behave a certain way to make ourselves feel comfortable, or successful, or important, or liked.... A thousand different ways we try to makes ourselves feel better through our children... rather then facing our own unresolved issues. When we come to terms with our own fear, anger and grief, we can set ourselves free of expectations as well as those around us. It all comes back to our own inner work- and our children are just one of the many mirrors that we create to provide the messages of what it is that we are needing to work on.


  1. Thankyou for this. A timely reminder to be aware of my expectations about my children and what those expectations can teach me about myself.

  2. Thanks for making a comment! I love your blog btw :)

  3. This is a beautiful post. A much needed reminder!