Punished by Rewards.....

Since i'm borrowing Alfie Kohn's title to one of his most well known books "Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes" I will post a link to his awesome book! http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/pbr.htm
Great stuff!!!


I got to see how this works, first hand, in a simple setting. No, this is not a scientific study. It was a simple scenario, set up quiet innocently, and what I saw while watching the event unfold was quite telling......

Rewind back to the birthday party i mentioned in my post "Gratitude for Space, Self love, and Support for our Shinniness!"
My friend had a game set up for the kids to play- kind of like musical chairs but there were no chairs.... When the music stopped, the kids had to freeze, and whoever didn't freeze was "out." Whoever was left standing got a prize. The kids loved this game SO much they played it three times!!! And they didn't love it for the prize.... they loved it for the sheer joy of their dancing and joy! It was beautiful to watch!

Here is what I noticed, as the game went on..... The younger kids pretty much danced freely and with out a care in the world --- dancing to their hearts content.And this never changed. The older kids, however, started to change their behavior after the first round of this game.... they figured out that if they danced more stifled and still- like, then it would increase their chances for a "reward" or prize.
So there were the younger kids, going all willy nilly, crazy, care free, and creative as could be. And there were the older kids, dancing like robots, so that they could stop their dance on the drop of a dime, and hopefully win that prize! Take note that their prize was not a trip to the zoo, it was a sticker or something similar. :P

Realize that none of the kids wanted to get called out. All of the kids wanted to stay in! AND it seemed like all of the kids genuinely wanted to get that prize!!! (in this instance, the prize was two fold- getting to continue to dance, as well as a prize from the basket). And yet it was only the older kids behaviors that stopped.... Even when the adults started to call the older kids out for not "really" dancing in their robotic motions....

Here is my take on the situation.... The younger kids (99% of them who were in the school system) had spent less time in the System of rewards... They were still young enough (kindergarten) to be connected to their inner joy of Doing. Sure they were aware of rewards... but their Joy and having Fun was paramount. The older kids, however, had been in the System at least one more year then the others.... (so, first grade or higher), and as such they had learned how rewards work.... you perform like a dog, you get a treat! ;) It wasn't that the older kids were "smarter" on how you can change your behavior to get a "reward," in my opinion it was that the younger kids didn't care as much if they got that external reward or not, because they were more in tune with their internal reward system of Fun and Joy and Freedom to Be who they are.

It was pretty mind blowing away to see how those older kids behaviors Dramatically changed once they realized they could get a prize...
What happened is that THEIR CREATIVITY STOPPED.....
Ala, Alfie Kohn, this was their Punishment, for getting a reward.....

I am already in the Alfie Kohn camp... we don't "do" rewards in our house. Even so, i was blown away by how blatantly kids really are punished by reward systems.....

Pretty powerful stuff.....